Not Alone
by Oh-Dearie-Dear
Summary: Rumplestiltskin plans to drink the night away. Regina joins him.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I apologize in advance for any errors. This is not edited!**

Rumplestiltskin sat at a barstool, planning to drink the night - a lifetime, even better - of disappointment away.

The Rabbit Hole was a rather bland place - not much to look at, not much to do - but with a drink in his hand, the mysteriously hot, suffocating air was almost comforting. The stool he sat on had been swiped of it's cushion, making his back ache and his pelvic bone grind uncomfortably. But hey, at least it distracted him from the real pain he was enduring.

Belle had left him. For good, this time. While she claimed all she needed was 'time', Rumple knew time meant something different to her than it did to him. Time for her was, well, simply _time_. Time for him was eternity.

Well, it used to be. Not so anymore, for all the terrible deeds he'd done had finally found a way to catch up with him. Which had left that annoying sorcerer to take the darkness out of him, which Rumple still didn't understand. The whole town had some kind of beef with him - why save him now? They were _years_ too late. He was better off dead. So, alas, time was simply time again, and each minute that ticked by was another moment wasted. Belle would live to see the world, to experience things she'd always wanted to.

With how old he really was, he knew he would not.

"Drinking the night away, are we?" Regina's snooty voice pulled him away from his thoughts. Her red lips pursed in amusement, her eye's twinkling as he took another sip of his drink.

"You know it," He responded, raising his glass meekly at an attempt at humor. His tone was dead, his voice nearly a whisper. She sniggered, sitting down next to him despite the dirty look he shot her.

"Regina, is there something I can help you with?" He asked, sighing in annoyance. He was _really_ not in the mood. Another sip of his beer filled in the silence as Regina lifted a perfect, bushy eyebrow.

"Beer?" She jabbed, snorting as she shook her head. "You're certainly not inexperienced enough to be drinking _beer_ at a bar."

His lips twitched into a half-hearted smile. "What's wrong with beer?"

She gave him a look, then waved the bartender over. "Two shots, please. Keep'em coming."

The bartender nodded silently, leaving to grab her request. A moment later, two shots slid to them.

"There we go," Regina hummed. "Much more appropriate."

Rumple stared at her, his smile vanishing. "Why are you even here?"

Regina's face morphed into a scowl as she mimicked his signature, open mouth look. A hand was thrown to her chest. "Can I not come visit an old friend?"

"Not when the heros are hightailing you as if you're their own," He gave her a look she'd given him minutes ago. "They're surely wondering where you are."

"Believe it or not, I have a life of my own." Regina nudged him. "Besides, Charming is getting on my nerves."

"He is annoying," Rumple agreed, deciding she wasn't wrong. She nudged him again, tilting her head to the still-full shot glass.

"You gonna drink that?" She asked.

"Quite frankly, I don't want to get drunk enough for you to take any dignity I have left." He shrugged her off. "If I _have_ any dignity left."

"Pfft, you're a hero now. Well, in _some eyes_." She waved a hand in dismissal. "No more darkness for you. Isn't that something to celebrate?"

"Only if I had a life worth celebrating."

She turned to him, lifting her eyebrows. "Aww, come on, Belle's been dying for you to get rid of your curse for awhile - this is a _good_ thing."

"Is it?" He asked. "I've got _nothing_ , Regina."

"Oh, stop with the dramatics. You've got Belle."

"No," A bitter laugh escaped the former dark one. "No, I don't."

Regina froze. _What?_ The beauty left her beast? But...he wasn't the dark one anymore!

" _She left you?"_ Regina was thoroughly confused. Wasn't this what Belle had always wanted?

"It appears so," Rumple responded quietly.

"Oh," Regina didn't know what to say. "Well, ah...wow."

He didn't respond.

"Well, she was always too naive anyway. Now you can focus on other things."

 _"What_ other things?" His cold tone surprised her. "There's nothing for me here. All I am, and ever will be, is some man shamed by cowardice, who lost his son and first wife in a pitiful attempt to save them. And now my _second_ wife just left me. I think drinking myself to death might due me actual justice."

Well, when you put it that way...

Regina winced as he shook his head, scowling at his life. There was nothing for him.

Regina had always had an interesting relationship with Gold. The smart man could humor her on good days, and annoy her on the bad ones. But today, she didn't feel either of those. Today, she felt _pity_. Life had screwed him over, as it did every villain. Now, all that was left was a man who lost everything, and felt he served no purpose to life, wanting to drown in a tub of alcohol.

She really couldn't blame him. He had become a villain out of desperation.

Maybe escaping the war wasn't the most honorable thing he had ever done, but it was definitely the right thing. His father left him, leaving the boy to fend for himself as two, poor spinsters tried to care for him. Regina understood his fear of leaving his child alone, fatherless. She couldn't imagine leaving Henry...

And because of what he did, he lost his wife. Regina expected his wife to be somewhat angry, but leaving him? She never expected that.

She felt a pang of sadness as his eyes drooped, small, barely noticeable, tears stung at the sides. For once, she felt upset for the former dark one.

No words left her mouth. She wanted, but didn't know how, to comfort the man. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw his hand twitch, his hand trembling into a fist. This was the man before the dark one. This was _Rumplestiltskin_.

Slowly, she grabbed his hand, squeezing it in her best effort to comfort him. Then leaned her head on his arm, huffing a little.

"Life sucks, huh." It wasn't a question, but a statement.

In the corners of his mouth, Regina knew she saw a small smile. He snorted. She picked up her shot glass, holding it in the air, nudging him to do the same.

"To life?" She tried, to which he snorted again. "Okay, to villains."

"To villains?" He questioned. "Doesn't that break some sort of hero code?"

Regina shrugged. "What they don't know won't hurt them."

The justification worked. Rumple shook his head, a laugh bubbling at the back of his throat. "Alright then. To villains."

He lifted the glass a little. Regina copied him.

"To villians," She agreed, clinking her glass to his. Both adults tipped their heads back and downed the liquid.

The bartender slided them two more shots, overhearing the two. And _wow_ \- shit seemed _rough_ for them right now. He surely would keep them coming.

 **-I have to put something here to separate the scene but fan is a little _bitch_ and makes it so _difficult-_**

"Hey, Rumple," Regina swayed, leaning against a flushed Rumple. "You won an award."

"What...what award?" Rumple stumbled a little, trying to keep himself standing as the two walked to the Mayor's house, both equally drunk off their asses.

"The…" Regina pinched her lips together, a tiny giggle slipping out. "...the Nobel Prize."

Rumple blinked as they clumsily opened the huge door to Regina's house. His leg was killing him.

"Get it?" Regina let out another giggle. "The _no Belle_ prize?"

Regina let out a shriek of laughter as the two practically threw themselves on a couch near the fireplace. She kicked off her heels and threw her feet onto Rumple's lap. The man himself was slouched at the other end, his feet resting at her side.

It took a second for Rumple to fully understand the pun, but when he did, a loud cackle left his mouth. He had long forgotten his suit jacket, which was tossed onto the floor. His own shoes were on the floor next to her's. The two giggled for awhile longer, snickering and jabbing at each other a little more until Rumple slowly frowned. His face went blank as his shoulders slumped a little.

Regina used her foot to nudge at his side. "Rumple?"

"I don't get why she left," He whispered quietly, the hilarity of the pun suddenly vanishing. "I...I'm not dark anymore, and she _still_ left."

"She's…" Regina swallowed and let out a yawn. "Not good enough for ya."

" _Too good_ for me." Rumple corrected, looking defeated. His flushed face contorted with pain.

"Robin was too good for me," Regina pointed out, letting out a small hiccup. "And he was with me."

"Yeah, but he died." Rumple realized his mistake when Regina frowned. He gently touched her leg, and mumbled a small, "Sorry."

"It's okay." Regina slumped herself. "It's true."

"Yeah, I guess."

The two villains looked at the fire, both of them angry and pissed at the world. With their past, who wouldn't be?

"Do you miss him?"

"Everyday," Regina responded with a swallow. "I didn't even get to say goodbye."

A tear had escaped her eye, sliding down her cheek and onto her blouse. "How about Bae?" She quickly changed the subject.

"I would have died for him. I _did_." Rumple bitterly spat. "But... _the stupid witch_. She _tricked_ them. I...I hate her. I want to kill her."

"You did," Regina reminded him. Rumple shook his head.

"But she's still alive." The bitterness in his voice escalated. "And everyone just... _forgave_ her. I - _how?_ She killed Henry's _father!_ I just...Emma didn't even _care_. My son is _dead_."

Regina nodded. She couldn't imagine losing Henry. No doubt she'd want to kill the person responsible.

"No parent should ever have to bury their child," He said in a whisper, pulling his arms around himself. "But no, I didn't even _get_ to do _that_."

"I'm sorry…" Regina didn't really know what to say. He was right. The actions, they were unforgivable.

"I'm tired," Rumple suddenly stated. And when Regina looked up, fresh tears had begun to pour down his face. He looked so angry and heartbroken. She nodded.

"Yeah, me, too." She shifted to grab a blanket, throwing it over them. "Stay? Henry's with Emma tonight."

"Okay," Rumple grabbed an end of the blanket and pulled it to his stomach. "Goodnight, Regina."

"Yeah, night," She rested her head on the sofa, watching as his eyes closed. He still looked distressed, even at the brink of exhaustion. She didn't sleep, not immediately. She waited until he was clearly asleep before slumping down and closing her eyes. From then on, she made a promise to herself.

This man wasn't going to be alone anymore. Whatever that meant, whatever that entailed.

Regina fell asleep peacefully, the body next to her keeping her warm.

He wasn't going to be alone. Not ever again.

 **A/N: So...I'm not really sure what this is. I wrote this a bit ago, and it was absolutely** _ **terrible**_ **(not saying that this isn't terrible). Like, I almost deleted the whole thing. But I suddenly got some inspiration to rewrite and edit it, and** _ **whamo**_ **, here is the product! Anyway, I'll be updating** _ **Morality**_ **soon, but I just had to publish this because I love Regina and Rumple's relationship. I guess you could see this as Goldenqueen, but I wrote it to be platonic. But, hey, everyone perceives things differently. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it!**


	2. Reviews

(I wanted to answer your guys' reviews because it means a lot to me when someone takes the time to not only read what I write, but to review it! I really appreciate it, guys. You have no idea. It warms my heart and makes me want to write more. To all of you who have reviewed any of my works, THANK YOU!)

 **DhampyrX2** : _I've always seen them as platonic, which is why it really bothered me in later seasons when they made Rumple and The Evil Queen make out like horny teenagers. Then again, I have a lot issues with the later seasons (after season 3) so oh, well. I've always tried to see Rumple as a father figure to Regina, but I could never get myself to fully see it that way. I've always seen them as old pals, both gone through darkness, both lost a lot of people, both have had their fair share of misfortune. I don't know, they just seem like each others only friend. Not to say I wouldn't have enjoyed the writers touching more on that matter, and that theory. I've always found it intriguing! And while, yes, Rumple's goal at the time was to mold her into 'The Evil Queen", he didn't really mold her, did he? He applied the incentive, but in the end, it was her who sought out vengeance and couldn't control her anger. But yeah, I've always found their strange relationship entertaining!_

 **Guest** : _They did make the show great, didn't they? They're dynamic was hilarious and super entertaining (even sweet, at times). It really is a shame the writers trashed everything good. I feel like after season three, the show was never the same. There were some good things about it, sure! But most of the time, I was pulling my hair out at how annoying the Charmigs became, and how the writers got lazy and made Rumple the villain again (an escape goat, uck) and completely ignored his sacrifice and redemption? Don't even get me started with what they did to Belle's character season 4+. It's a shame, but the good things about it will live on in fanfiction and in our hearts!_


	3. BLACK LIVES FUCKING MATTER

I can't believe this is considered "political" or "controversial", but let me another decent soul to remind you that BLACK LIVES MATTER. It's absolutely disgusting to me how this is even debatable. How? _How?_ And for all of you assholes screaming "all lives matter", y'all don't give a flying fuck about all lives. If you did, even in the slightest, you'd scream black lives matter right with me. The hypocrisy is hilarious as it is disturbing. "Blue lives matter" Literally go fuck yourself with a cactus. I'm so done with conservatives and their hypocrisy. This entire fanfic is about hypocrisy and brainwashing, and while it's fictional and NO WHERE NEAR THE SAME THING, please leave my page and get off of my fanfic. If you don't scream black lives matter, if you don't sign petitions, if you dont do your part in educating the people around you who are racist and ignorant, get away from my fanfic, and don't come back until you've thoroughly checked yourself and gained decent empathy.

As someone who is white and privileged, I am so fucking ashamed of what my ancestors have done to black people and people of color. You all deserve so much more. I'm so fucking sorry about how society has silenced you, how they've dealt with racial matters, and how they continue to profit off of your oppression. It's wrong. There is no excuse, no justification. It's wrong, and I hope you know that I stand with you. I will continue to speak up to my racist relatives, I will continue to sign petitions, and I will continue to fight for you in whatever means I can.

And to those of you who are white and gain from this, USE YOUR VOICE! We would be NO WHERE without the help of our brothers and sister of color. Stand up for them! Use the white privilege you have for good! And for the love of God, acknowledge your privilege. Acknowledge that everything is made for you, and that while you may struggle, your struggle isn't because of the color of your skin. And when speaking up, don't silence people of color in the process. Instead, give them the space to express their oppression.

And a little reminder, it is not any person of color's job to educate you. Do your own fucking research. I have, and I've learned far more than I ever have from our white-washed school system! If I have and can check myself and do my own research, guess what? You can, too! It is a privilege to learn about racism instead of experiencing it.

It is not your job to educate anyone, but if any POC want to comment and talk about their experiences, please feel free. This comment section is left to all of you if you want to. I hope all of you stay safe, and know that we will not let this continue. Our generation (gen z) is awake and powerful. We will fight for you, and we won't stop until justice is served.

Hate will be deleted. I will not be tolerating any bullshit. Respectful questions are fine, and I will answer them if I feel I can. But there is no excuse to be ignorant, not in 2020. If you're ignorant now, you choose to be.

"No justice, no peace."


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